Although I had not planned it this way, my children's birthday parties seem to come with copious amounts of alcohol. I assume that my thinking is entertain the adults as well as the kids.
This past Sunday my daughter had her 5th birthday party. We hired the biggest bouncy castle we could find, ordered 3 dozen homemade cupcakes, ordered pizzas, hung helium balloons and had pink party bags full of fabulous plastic bits that will get stuck in hoovers for years to come. It also came with a case of champagne, a case of white wine and a case of beer. By the end of the night we had one birthday girl in tears of exhaustion, one neighbour climbing the wall to get to home, one aunty who had lost the ability to speak and an entire 'lost and found' pile including handbags, coats, jumpers and shoes.
Plus I got an 'i am sorry I was drunk' email from one of the mothers the next day.
My mom tells the story of my 2nd or 3rd birthday when she and my dad hosted a 'pink' party. Everything was pink and they made one pitcher of pink lemonade for the kids and one pitcher of boozy pink punch (now referred to as Pink Panty Pull Downs) for the adults. According to my mother after the first round of 'juice' was served she lost track of which pitcher held which beverage and there was most certainly some tipsy toddlers running around. So maybe i come by this naturally.
I think I only have one party mode. So when it is a kids party – through in a bouncy castle and some cupcakes and we are there.
Tuesday, 21 June 2011
Friday, 17 June 2011
High Class Problems
I love high class problems.
'We have terrible jetlag from our long haul holiday'
'The nanny is leaving me and I have no idea what to do with my son during the day'
'I can't get into Thursday night yoga class'
clearly - these are the real problems of first World, modern day society.
'We have terrible jetlag from our long haul holiday'
'The nanny is leaving me and I have no idea what to do with my son during the day'
'I can't get into Thursday night yoga class'
clearly - these are the real problems of first World, modern day society.
more 17 June 2011
Did I mention that last weekend was my birthday? I always have high expectations for my birthday that are always dashed by something silly. This year - none of my gifts had arrived yet. To be clear - they still haven't arrived a week later. This is attached to the fact that my husband REFUSES to shop and orders everything on line and is then REALLY surprised when it takes much longer than expected.
Anyway - on Sunday, day post-birthday, we go to the inlaws to spend the day. We are meant to be picking strawberries, but clearly the farm is out of strawberries. Right. Like not one strawberry. Weird.
So we end up taking the kids to a god-awful indoor play place because it is a cold and raining - it is June after all and we are in the UK. So after that, we go back to the Inlaws where we do all the crazy things that we normally do there - drink wine, eat, take random naps, watch Teletubbies (this is clearly a tradition that my 4 year old will not give up - we will probably be watching that f-ing video (not DVD) when she is 24.)
Anyway - my father-in-law is the quintessential father-in-law. He comes complete with dad jokes, candy that makes the children's teeth fall out on contact, and endless patience for board games and coloring books and ping pong with small people who take forever to play or finish any of these things. He is also always right and has never met a stranger. You could leave him alone for 30 seconds in desert and when you came back he would have made friends with the only bedouin within 100 miles.
So - to get on with the funny bit. Father in law and I got to chatting over our second bottle of lunch-wine when he started tell me about 'that singer who was evicted from America for going to Muhammadism.' I had to immeadiately leave the room to find a piece of paper to write that down. It was that good. Muhammadism? Amanzing. I will also let Cat Stevens know ASAP. I this same bottle of wine, he also came out with 'rockin' it', 'smoochey dances', and 'porn'. It was a good bottle of wine. He isn't always full of such good material.
Anyway - on Sunday, day post-birthday, we go to the inlaws to spend the day. We are meant to be picking strawberries, but clearly the farm is out of strawberries. Right. Like not one strawberry. Weird.
So we end up taking the kids to a god-awful indoor play place because it is a cold and raining - it is June after all and we are in the UK. So after that, we go back to the Inlaws where we do all the crazy things that we normally do there - drink wine, eat, take random naps, watch Teletubbies (this is clearly a tradition that my 4 year old will not give up - we will probably be watching that f-ing video (not DVD) when she is 24.)
Anyway - my father-in-law is the quintessential father-in-law. He comes complete with dad jokes, candy that makes the children's teeth fall out on contact, and endless patience for board games and coloring books and ping pong with small people who take forever to play or finish any of these things. He is also always right and has never met a stranger. You could leave him alone for 30 seconds in desert and when you came back he would have made friends with the only bedouin within 100 miles.
So - to get on with the funny bit. Father in law and I got to chatting over our second bottle of lunch-wine when he started tell me about 'that singer who was evicted from America for going to Muhammadism.' I had to immeadiately leave the room to find a piece of paper to write that down. It was that good. Muhammadism? Amanzing. I will also let Cat Stevens know ASAP. I this same bottle of wine, he also came out with 'rockin' it', 'smoochey dances', and 'porn'. It was a good bottle of wine. He isn't always full of such good material.
17 June 2011
Work makes me crazy. It malkes me crazy because I am good at it and I really enjoy the people I work with and I know what I am supposed to do...but sometimes I am so freaked out I cry at my desk.
So professional right?
What I really want to do is hard to explain.
I want to work - to make my own money and to have a life that it not just being a mom and a delivery service for my kids.
I want to hang out with the people that are not like me so I remember that I am here on this planet with interesting people and not just a bunch of middle class mummy's like myself. These are the people I would end up spending all my time with if I drove the kids to school and then went to yoga or lunch or the PTA meeting. I am sort of jealous of these people. I like the IDEA of dropping kids off and then going to yoga/having mummy lunches/cups of tea with friends/lazy gardening, but I know that I could only do this for so long before I got bored and started looking for an office job.
I assume I am not the only person like this...that needs to fill their time with work that makes you think and work that makes you stressed out and worried and anxious just so you know when you get home to your little ones, no matter how crazy they are being, it is ok...because chocolate ice cream and Scooby Doo on the sofa with mom will solve their problems. Their skinned knees and the friend that was mean at school.
A little love goes a long way when kids are concerned. Not like that at the office really.
I am not one of those people that knew what I wanted to be when I was 10 and I made that dream come true. Wish I was, and my dad and my husband are both like that - just cannot get enough of their job. JEALOUSY. I am also not naturally good at anything. Well, not entirely true. Husband says I am really good at making people think it was their idea. Not sure that is a skill in which I could start a business. It isn't like 'baking cupcakes' or 'dog grooming' which both lend themselves to cottage industry type businesses. Wouldn't it be great to be able to start a little business and make it work and love it and WANT to do it everyday and make a bit of money in the meantime. What are the odds? Slim I imagine.
Oh well, I'll just keep doing what I am doing...and getting upset and stresed out and getting promoted and loving who I work with and making enough but not enough. Phew...did I mention the stupid meetings? There should be a game that rational people could play in stupid meetings. Maybe that can be my new project.
So the funny life part of all the rambling is that my coworker just told me that he WON a dance-off in a gay bar in Cape Town. This is possibly my favourite story ever. Surely this is why I work - so I get to hear stories like this. Also it is Friday - which means that ALL the crazy children come to the clinic and scream alot up and down the hallways and lock their clinicians out of the therapy rooms and throw things out the windows...which puzzles our mean-old-man security guard to no end. Another enjoyable moment in my day.
So professional right?
What I really want to do is hard to explain.
I want to work - to make my own money and to have a life that it not just being a mom and a delivery service for my kids.
I want to hang out with the people that are not like me so I remember that I am here on this planet with interesting people and not just a bunch of middle class mummy's like myself. These are the people I would end up spending all my time with if I drove the kids to school and then went to yoga or lunch or the PTA meeting. I am sort of jealous of these people. I like the IDEA of dropping kids off and then going to yoga/having mummy lunches/cups of tea with friends/lazy gardening, but I know that I could only do this for so long before I got bored and started looking for an office job.
I assume I am not the only person like this...that needs to fill their time with work that makes you think and work that makes you stressed out and worried and anxious just so you know when you get home to your little ones, no matter how crazy they are being, it is ok...because chocolate ice cream and Scooby Doo on the sofa with mom will solve their problems. Their skinned knees and the friend that was mean at school.
A little love goes a long way when kids are concerned. Not like that at the office really.
I am not one of those people that knew what I wanted to be when I was 10 and I made that dream come true. Wish I was, and my dad and my husband are both like that - just cannot get enough of their job. JEALOUSY. I am also not naturally good at anything. Well, not entirely true. Husband says I am really good at making people think it was their idea. Not sure that is a skill in which I could start a business. It isn't like 'baking cupcakes' or 'dog grooming' which both lend themselves to cottage industry type businesses. Wouldn't it be great to be able to start a little business and make it work and love it and WANT to do it everyday and make a bit of money in the meantime. What are the odds? Slim I imagine.
Oh well, I'll just keep doing what I am doing...and getting upset and stresed out and getting promoted and loving who I work with and making enough but not enough. Phew...did I mention the stupid meetings? There should be a game that rational people could play in stupid meetings. Maybe that can be my new project.
So the funny life part of all the rambling is that my coworker just told me that he WON a dance-off in a gay bar in Cape Town. This is possibly my favourite story ever. Surely this is why I work - so I get to hear stories like this. Also it is Friday - which means that ALL the crazy children come to the clinic and scream alot up and down the hallways and lock their clinicians out of the therapy rooms and throw things out the windows...which puzzles our mean-old-man security guard to no end. Another enjoyable moment in my day.
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