maybe I can write this funny

I have just had a complete meltdown in the bath because it went cold...well, it was partly because it went cold and partly because I thought my husband was looking after the kids but instead I could hear him playing video games.

REALLY??? How old are you?

I have completely married a 12 year old and given birth to 2 of his children. Am I a paedophile? Am I like that teacher who had that ongoing affair with her student. I just tried to Google her name, but there are about 500 of these people apparently, so at least I'm not alone. Maybe we could start a club for people who cry in the bath because they can't believe they are dating boys barely approaching puberty.

It feels like if turn my back for 30 seconds then he is off...down the hall he goes (not down the pub...at least that is somewhere I would want to go hang with him) but down the hall with his 12 year old online friends, playing video games. Wherefore I become a mom of 3...

I have told him this makes me crazy, he knows. And if I start walking down the hall, he throws down the controller like it was last months issue of Jugs, and comes up the hall like he was 'just on his way anyway and what's the big dea and I should get over myself'.

And to be honest, I wish it didn't bother me and I wish that I had some adolescent activity that I went to do alone, like making up a dance to the latest Debbie Gibson top 40 single in front of my mirror...or maybe cutting up my Seventeen magazine to make collages for the football players before the big middle school playoff.

But i don't.

So my next tactic was trying to do things he would like...I tried to look nice, and clean up the house and bake for him...I tried to watch Top Gear...I even tried to watch F1 racing. That was exciting...on the sofa, alone, watching cars drive around. Whooppee.

So as a last ditch effort before I absolutely go to town on the PS3 in the night with an ice pick, I thought I would write about it and see if it became funny this way. I'm still feeling teary, and annoyed, and frustrated, and totally totally like a big loser, but there you go.

Maybe I'll get a boyfriend ...who's like 17 and drives his dad's use Buick, and at least we can make out in the back seat.


PS - I waited to publish this because I wanted to make sure I wasn't being too harsh...and right now he is sitting with our 2 year old building a puzzle...and I didn't even have to ask. So it isn't all bad...this is after I told him that I was going to take an ice pick to that bloody machine though...